Hong Kong Hijinx: Part Deux of Deux

Since American Airlines destroyed my hopes of seeing the city of Hong Kong the first time, I decided to circumvent the airline industry and take the train into Hong Kong with my trusted travelling companion, Paul (no Old Man Bryan in this post, he apologizes to his fans). A train from Guilin to Shenzhen takes about 11-13 hours depending on their given schedule for the day. Because of this, we decided to take off Friday night, arrive Saturday around noon, explore for the day, slum it in a hostel for one night and one night only, wake up early, explore all day Sunday, and finally catch the only train from Shenzhen back to Guilin at 5pm.

For those of you who are confused, Shenzhen is the Chinese city which borders Hong Kong. It is in and of itself, quite large, but alas, it is no Hong Kong, and is commonly used as the stepping stone almost all Chinese must use to reach "The Pearl of the Orient." Many Chinese have never been to Hong Kong because they must first attain a Visa, and from what they've told me, it can be quite a hassle. That being said, the prices of many consumer goods are much cheaper in Hong Kong than on the mainland, and there are some things you can only get in Hong Kong. That, along with the sightseeing, is impetus enough for scores of Chinese to cross the border from Shenzhen to visit the city. The crowds were big, the lines at customs and immigration long, and the journey tiring. After arriving in Shenzhen at around 10:30 (our train was delayed two hours), we spent an hour crossing into Hong Kong. From there you must take the MTR (Hong Kong's much cleaner, much better version of the Metro) 45 minutes into the city itself.

After a little initial confusion, we found our hostel on the 16th floor of the inappropriately named, "Mirador Mansions." These "Mansions" along with the "Chungking Mansions" are famous for their many dirty, crowded, cheap, and sometimes dangerous hostels, but, you cannot beat the location. They are both in downtown Kowloon, a perfect jumping off point for any adventure. Our room was pretty simple, bunk beds for twelve, a few windows and a door:

Once we settled our account at the hostel, we ventured out to find the Star Ferry and ride over to Hong Kong island itself (no offense, Kowloon) Having arrived three hours late, and having not eaten anything but some crushed Oreos and dried fruit, Paul and I caved and did the most lame American thing we could, we went to McDonalds:

It was amazing, and cheap, and just what we needed. I have no regrets. Sated, we made our way to Ferry and took a ride:

From there we got off and found a walkway that connects a lot of the major buildings in downtown Hong Kong. We took that as far as we could and then hiked until we found the entrance to the Peak Tram. This part of Hong Kong reminded me a lot of NYC:

Once we got to the tram we realized we had to wait in line for about an hour before taking it up to the peak. Fortunately, some kind, and possibly unstable soul with a serious dislike for America's intelligence agencies provided us with some high-quality reading material:

Just goes to show, there are conspiracy theorists everywhere. I'll apologize in advance, I only took one picture of the tram, and it's not great. By that point everyone had been on their feet and in line for over an hour and it was a running of the bulls to get on the damn thing:

We got to the peak right at dusk, which meant my small little camera wasn't able to capture anything that clearly. All the same, I took the obligatory, "I was here!" picture:

Out of about 30 blurrier ones, this one came out the best:

Once you get to Victoria Peak, there's not much to do, and it was packed when we went. That, coupled with the hour wait to go up, and the subsequent hour wait to go down, put a damper on the experience, but it was still cool. Once we got back down we headed back to the harbor for the nightly light show. A few of the skyscrapers have really powerful green lasers that dance around for about 20 minutes, twice a night. It was a bit foggy on this particular Saturday, so the show wasn't all that impressive, much to Paul's chagrin (for those of you who don't know, Paul likes loves technology, and was really looking forward to it) But, I did get this cool, but entirely unrelated shot:

After arriving back in Kowloon, we grabbed some food and headed towards a famous night market. The market was huge, maybe two or three blocks long. It sold everything from the usual tchotchke to knockoff designer clothes and bags, to sex toys and more. 

A precautionary note to any American-looking person travelling in Hong Kong: I'm not sure if it's because I am wearing facial hair and letting my hair grow a little or what, but at every corner of the city an Indian man offered me any combination of the following: Hashish, Rolex, Fake Bags, Suits, Marijuana, Cocaine, Fake Watches. During the day the illicit drugs were omitted, but at night they went for it all. Be warned, they will approach you at every. single. corner.

Once I politely refused these persistent solicitors, and asked Paul why they didn't approach him, since he was an American too (being racially profiled sucks), we returned to our hostel and prepared for bed. What we returned to was a room full of a family from a city up the coast about an hour. They were incredibly friendly, and one of the girls studied, spoke, and now taught English in her city. We practiced our Chinese, they practiced their English, everyone's back was scratched. They kept us up pretty late but, determined to see some more of the city, we woke up early and headed out:

We returned to Hong Kong island and headed towards a string of escalators that take you all the way up and through Hong Kong. Collectively they were over 1000m long, but it was cool just to relax and take in the sights. Oh yeah, and everyone in Hong Kong speaks English more or less, but it still didn't prevent some funny mistakes:

It was at this point where out trip took an unexpected turn for the better. We didn't have much of a formal plan, so we wandered a bit and found a few street markets, where I bought the above sunglasses for 35HKD or 7USD, 5 fake polo shirts for 2USD a piece, and a big 'ole bag of protein that I found at a fitness supply store. China has protein, but it's not really safe. This shop had the American brand I use back home, so I splurged and bought it. Once we got further into the city, it began to remind my a bit more of DC, with the stone and infrastructure surrounded by nature, and the buildings a bit more spaced out:

We walked around and found a free zoological and botanical garden. Don't worry, this time the monkeys were in cages:

Finally we had one last thing to check off our list. My teacher at CLI had asked me to buy her a very specific kind of makeup that apparently was very hard to find on the mainland. She said it could be found in any makeup store in Hong Kong. She was mistaken. Paul and I, the two manly men that we are, went in no less than 10 different makeup shops before finally finding the only one in all of Hong Kong which had the brand we needed (and it was in a giant mall). From there we made our way back to Kowloon, ate one last meal, and began our trip home. Our train left Shenzhen at around 5pm, we got back to Guilin at 6am, and Paul and I went to class at 8:40am. As I said, no regrets.

Monkey Marauders: Zhangjiajie Part Three

Well, I suppose two weeks after a trip probably isn't the most opportune time to polish off blogging about it, but as my dad often curtly reminds me, "There's nothin' to it but to do it." So, off we go:

We rose around 7, geared up, and followed the previous days' trend of busing to our destination. We decided to make the most of our three day passes and headed back to the national park. We had seen the major attractions but still had much of the park left to explore. I was tired and a little overwhelmed by the rapid salvos of Chinese, so I let Old Man Bryan and our new friends/free tour guides plan the days activities. They hadn't let me down yet, and if Taoist principles teach us anything it's I was feeling lazy. We decided to begin hiking through the more densely wooded area of the park. I personally liked this choice because of the general lack of elevation change (my calves felt like they could explode or implode at any second, I honestly couldn't tell which), and because wild animals often frequent this area of the park.

Even though I started the day out a little grumpy, I was glad we arrived as early as we did. We let the tourists deal with the crowds and took off down the nearly deserted path. A few minutes into the walk, we got to a point in the path where the sun peaked through the trees and the light morning fog. It was an incredible scene, and prompted one of our Chinese friends/free tour guides to use his limited English to tell me, and I quote, "It looks like God." I don't know if he was right or wrong. What I do know is that if these rays of sunshine were God, they disappeared and left us to our own devices fairly quickly. We quickly realized we were in Monkey Territory.

I was so excited to see this damn monkey I cannot tell you. In the states everything is so hermetically sealed, ergonomically designed, safety first blah blah blah. In China, if you wanna tango with some monkeys, no steel bars included, step right up. I didn't know if we would scare off the little guy, so I snapped this shot, of an apparently solitary monkey, from a good distance away:

Some members of our group were a little wary of our fellow primates, but I for one wanted to interact with the little guy/get close enough to get a good picture for you guys. I'm always thinking about you. Just prior to sauntering up to this monkey, two young Chinese guys started walking relatively close to us. They were carrying some nice cameras and had a bag of snacks. Had.

If I can leave you with one lasting thought from this blog, let it be this: "Monkeys are goddamned thugs."

This monkey, with absolutely zero fear, had the audacity, nay, the temerity to challenge a group of his evolutionary superiors:

He shamelessly circled his prey, paying us no regard:

Then he struck. It was swift, it was merciless, and by god was it effective. He snatched this poor traveler's bag of food like it was nothing. Resistance was futile. The battle was lost. Monkeys:1, Humans: 0.

The monkey then flaunted his victory, but not in a "beating his chest, hootin' and hollerin'" kind of way, no, that would be barbaric. He coolly and viciously enjoyed the fruits of his thuggish labor, tearing open the packaging like a pro. This clearly was not his first snack-jacking. He dined with a look of steel and malice, breaking through any and all language barriers and decreeing with his fiery gaze alone, "This is my hood, this is my food, try me. I dare you."

Just then he looked further up the path with the slightest bit of hesitation. No heist this big would remain a secret in the tight-knit communities of monkey-dom. Everyone was gonna want a slice. 

Monkey Thug #1 quickly took the best of his loot and took off. We thought we were in the clear. I bet in some way or another, he chuckled at our ignorance as he meandered away. He knew what we didn't, the whole forest was coming down on us:

Scores of monkey thugs appeared from all directions. They descended on the remnants of the food and began to bicker amongst themselves. Factional rivalries developed, coups d'etat were staged. It's complicated, and I'm not gonna go into it (I think my subconscious is repressing the memories, AP Psych shout-out), but to summarize: The monkeys stole all their food, and are much more intimidating than you'd think. I was worried that at any second one of these 20lb monkeys would think I was trying to be a hero and claw my face off. Thoroughly defeated, our pack of humans ventured away from the monkey marauders. 

 We walked a bit further up the path and saw a sign that said, "Don't feed the wild monkeys" that had been torn down and was in pretty bad shape. I can only assume the monkeys conspired to commit this vandalism, used their freakish monkey strength to tear down the sign, and then lied in wait, preparing for their next unknowing victims. Thugs.

Once we were safely out of the monkey danger zone, we started to climb a bit and saw some more very scenic views. We stopped at this one and rested for about an hour, talking about anything and everything while we looked upon some of the best Zhangjiajie had to offer:

We climbed some more before realizing it was lunch time, and the only way back out of this area was through areas controlled by none other than, the monkeys. Maybe it was the fear and desperation in our eyes, or the fact that we concealed our food in our bags, or perhaps the monkeys had wreaked enough havoc for one morning, but they let us exit in peace.

After lunch we walked some more, and enjoyed the last couple hours we had left:

After three days of hiking, climbing mountains, riding cable-cars, and getting accosted by monkeys, it was time to say goodbye to our new friends and hop back on a train for the return trip. As I was leaving and reviewing the trip in my head, a line from a poem in one of the park restaurants kept resonating with me, "Though I may leave these peaks, I know they will never leave me." 

Hate to end it on a deep, philosophical note, so here's Old Man Bryan, showing off our appropriately sized tiny train beds.

PSA: Don't mess with monkeys. Just don't. They play by a different set of rules. I don't care how hardcore you think you are. Don't. Mess. With. Monkeys.

Cable Car Cliffhanger: Zhangjiajie Day Two

EDIT: I posted the pictures in a "smaller" size to make the formatting a little more streamlined. Just click any of the pictures to see them full size.

Sorry it has taken me so long to get this up, the first week back from vacation was hellish. I was playing catch-up from taking the Zhangjiajie trip, got my bike stolen on Tuesday (while it was missing a pedal, take that bike thief) had my first test on Thursday (I got a 92, whoop whoop), five classes on Friday, and two makeup classes today (Saturday). Now I get to enjoy a faaantastic one-day weekend. Womp. At least I've got the Zhangjiajie memories to get me through, and there is a "90's" themed party tonight being hosted by some friends of mine at a local watering hole. I guess you win some you lose some. Back to the matter at hand:

On day two we were again early to rise. We had planned to go back into Zhangjiajie city to go on a cable car ride that we had seen on the bus ride in. I personally wasn't particularly enamored with the idea. We had already purchased our three day passes to the national park, and from what we saw from the bus, the cable car didn't seem all that special. 

You'd think by now I'd stop making assumptions about what to expect in China. It was awesome. My dad, who in the past became hopelessly smitten with a tire-pump with a digital readout at a gas station, would have loved this ride (sorry Dad, the world had to know). 

The entrance showed the name of the park was TianMenShan or Heaven's Door/Gate Mountain (don't worry, I made the requisite "Knock Knock Knockin' on Heavens doOooOooor jokes) and we purchased our tickets for about 25 dollars American (not Canadian, unfortunately) with our student ID's. Old man Bryan tried to use his expired student card to buy his, but the small, snarky, female attendant pointed to the area of his card where it presumably said, "this is expired," with a look that undoubtedly said, "homegirl don't play that shit." Bryan, ego in tatters, feeling older than ever, had to pay the full $40 fee. 

We jumped in the 8 person car (literally jumped, it was moving around the boarding area fairly fast) and began our ascent. At this point I was still a little doubtful, but I snapped some photos anyway:

Then, the car was pulled upwards until we cleared the smaller set of hills/mountains and were greeted with this view:

Our destination, as we slowly realized, was all the way at the top of the above picture. I'm sorry for doubting you TianMenShan, truly. As our car heaved upwards, the views became more and more resplendent. Adding to the pleasure of the ride was one of our female travelling companions/free tour guides. She was absolutely terrified of heights, and, as you might expect, did not take the sudden change in altitude well. She held a hat in front of her head the entire ride up. I contemplated asking her in Chinese, "I like that hat, can I try it on?" but I didn't want to tease her didn't have enough confidence in my grammar/speaking abilities. The view from near the top:

The mountain top park itself was pretty cool. It was a few square miles, and most of the paths hung over the edge of the mountain. No, really:

It was a little eerie at first, but by the end of day the danger didn't even seem real. One of the more interesting sections of the park was the glass walkway. Instead of just standing on cement on the side of a mountain, for a small fee ($1.50), you could stand on cement holding up glass panels,observe your coming doom. It was fun watching the less brave tourists stand exclusively on the cement section of the walkway closest to the wall and suffer as they were taunted by their good friends (I've learned there is an international language for giving your friends crap, and, unsurprisingly, that I am very nearly fluent). Our acrophobic friend paid the fee expecting herself to muster the courage when the moment of truth arrived. Sadly, her courage was as absent as the walkway's opacity.

In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have trusted the glass walkway as much as I did. Firstly because I'm a bit heavier than the average visitor, and secondly because some of the things every single thing I've purchased in China has broken or had some sort of manufacturing issue. But I made it. I, and this blog, live on. At least the safety instructions were clear:

We ventured around a few more of the paths, eventually crossing a bridge:

Seeing an elaborately painted Buddhist Temple:

And, of course, some amazing views of the scenery:

After we had hiked around the entire top section of the mountain, we got back on the cable car and rode it to a way point about halfway up the mountain. From there we were herded onto complimentary buses that took us to this mother:

A casual climb all the way to the top of the mountain's sphincter, (if mountains had sphincters). If the whole park was heaven's door than this must have been heaven's garbage chute. It was a really holy place. Alright, I'm done. Jokes aside, after two days of continuous hiking, my legs had just about had it. There was a large staging area at the bottom (where this picture was taken) where we girded our loins for the coming ascent. After a few moments of apprehension whining and swearing, we ventured upwards. The steps were steep, crowded, and worst of all, there were a lot of them. If I had to guess I'd say around 1000. The view from halfway up:

I, of course, was the first of our group to make it the summit, where I caught Old Man Bryan taking a load off:

With a final burst of speed, he made it:

Which, really, isn't at all impressive, considering actual old people were all over those stairs. Hilariously, once you reached the top, there really wasn't anything there. There were nice views all around, but nothing like we saw further up the mountain. There was another area to buy locks and attach them as wishes, but nothing that warranted that much effort, in my humble opinion. I suppose it doesn't matter. It's about the journey, not the destination, after all. 

Thoroughly exhausted, we very, very slowly descended the stairs, boarded a bus, fell asleep on said bus (all of us) and headed back to our hotel to gear up for....drum roll please....Day Three.