Beijing Bay-bay!

Hey everyone, hope you're doing well. I'm starting to get into crunch time in terms of finals and getting ready to head home. I think the best way to describe my feelings would be an awkward (my specialty) mixture of wanting to stay longer and being incredibly, incredibly excited to go home. This week especially has been rather hellish, we had one class cancelled, but I've since had three make up classes scheduled to fill any voids that could have been filled with the dangerous foreign substance known as "fun." Luckily, I have the memories of my Beijing to get me through, and lemme tell you, I saved my best adventure for last.

This trip was a bit unusual in the fact that I was without any of my usual travel companions ("CashCab" Paul, or Old Man Bryan). Coming up from the reserves with some serious sass was my Chinese friend Mingming, better known as CLI's accountant, and occasionally a Chinese teacher. A few icebreakers to get to know Mingming: 1. She owns a tiny female pug named Meatball (despite the ease in which the name invites Chinese dog meat jokes) and dresses her daily.  2. She has a nearly photographic memory, and therefore is incredibly gifted at math. She told me over the course of the trip she thought math was ridiculously easy because she would just look at the formula sheet and memorize everything in a matter of minutes. 3. She is fluent in Chinese (obviously), English, and has just begun to learn Spanish (keep in mind she's an accountant). 4. She is crazy, gregarious, and the biggest goofball I've met in China. 

In a word, Mingming is great. She can be seen below taking a selfie with Chairman Mao:

Also accompanying us was Abby, an American intern at CLI, and her mother, who met us there and is travelling around China for a few weeks. They chose a few different activities than us, so sometimes the four of us were together, but the majority of my time was spent one on one with Mingming.

I also have yet to tell you, my valued readers, of my latest development in my Chinese language journey. Starting on November 14th (one month before my flight home), I forgot English. Well, clearly not, but, I wasn't getting enough speaking practice since everyone at CLI speaks such good English so I decided to only speak English on a handful of occasions: 1. Writing this blog. 2. When speaking to someone who cannot speak Chinese (kind of defeats the purpose of the practice). 3. When asking the meaning of a word or phrase. 4. When asked a question about English vocabulary or grammar. 5.  In moments when time is of the essence. 

So far it's been going pretty well. I have my off-days to be sure, but I can already tell my speaking ability has greatly improved and it causes me to think a lot more in Chinese, which helps solidify some of the learning. 

The point of the above story is that I spent the better part of 3 days one on one with Mingming, speaking nothing but Chinese, in the huge cosmopolitan capital of China. Cool.

I also have to share with you perhaps the most awkward thing I've done since arriving in China: Mingming and I were standing outside the Forbidden City waiting for Abby and her mother, casually discussing why no police officers or people have guns in China. I looked in my dictionary on my phone to see what the word for shoot and and the word for gun were before plugging them into the grammar structure used to ask if someone has ever done something. So, I asked Mingming if she'd ever fired a gun... or so I thought. She started laughing hysterically and minutes later explained that the two words the dictionary had provided separately, when combined, form a euphemism for male masturbation. Oops. But, hey, now I will never, ever forget how to ask if someone's shot a gun before.

But enough of my ramblings, on to the task at hand. Beijing! Woo! Capital of China! Woo! Simply put, Beijing is awesome. It is, of course, a huge city, but it was much cleaner than Xi'an, and I was pleased to find the public urination was actually frowned upon in Beijing. It is in the north of China, so, it was pretty damn cold. But, if you can fight through the cold and wind, it has some of the coolest historical and cultural sites in the world, serves as the center of power for the government that governs more people than any other, proudly cooks and serves some world-renowned cuisine, and, well, it just kicks ass.

Night One: Tiananmen

Arriving around dinner time, we grabbed something quick to eat and headed to Tiananmen square. Tiananmen is a (in)famous spot in China, but just the amount of history that has unfolded there is worth the trip. The Chinese government, and the elites, actually work and meet in the buildings lining Tiananmen, and of course, Mao overlooks it all:

Day 1: Tiananmen Part 2 and Forbidden City

Mingming asked me if I wanted to wake up at 530am on Saturday morning. Usually a question like this would receive the biggest scowl I could muster and be quickly dismissed, but, it was for a good reason. Ever since the Revolution in 1949, the Chinese hoist their flag in the center of Tiananmen with the national anthem blasting in the background. It's a very patriotic ceremony and Mingming told me that back in the day, when China's post-revolutionary patriotism was through the roof, people would travel far and wide just to say they saw the flag raised. Nowadays it's not so popular, but people still turn out. We ran a little behind schedule, so literally sprinted from the metro station to watch the ceremony, but it was well worth the effort and the early rise. Afterwards we got breakfast and waited for Abby and her Mother at the Forbidden City (site of the aforementioned "have you ever shot a gun" mishap).

The Forbidden city served as the seat of the Emperor for hundreds of years, but, in the long expanse that is Chinese history, it's not really that old. In fact, the Chinese only moved their capital to Beijing during the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644). The reason? Because the newly crowned emperor burned down the previous palace in Nanjing (the previous capitol) with his nephew (the rightful emperor) trapped inside to seize the throne. Since a body was never found, some people in Nanjing weren't entirely convinced this new guy should be running the show, so, in a move to avoid a clearly awkward situation (something I can appreciate) he ordered the Grand Canal rerouted and the government moved to Beijing. 

The Forbidden City is pretty sweet, it serves as one of the borders for Tiananmen Square and attracts huge crowds daily. That being said, it's more or less one giant, very spread out museum. One that takes 4-5 hours to navigate completely. The experience itself was cool, and much of it is well maintained, but some structures and items were lost to time/thieves/etc. All in all, I was a little underwhelmed, but in no way disappointed, if that makes sense.

After the Forbidden city, Mingming and I went and got the ever-famous Beijing Roast Duck. I was a little skeptical at first. I've haven't eaten that many waterfowl over the course of my life, but I had been assured and reassured that this stuff was the real deal. The place we went to was relatively expensive ($25USD/person) and Mingming insisted that she pay for the whole meal. I accepted only when she said that when she comes to America and visits Washington D.C. I'll have to treat her to an equally nice meal. Here's our duck getting sliced and diced:

Once we had eaten our fill (it was amazing), we headed to the Summer Palace, another one of Beijing's historical sites. Mingming checked online and supposedly they stopped selling tickets at 5pm, with all guests leaving the site at 8pm. After running about a half a mile from the metro station, we arrived at the ticket booth at 4:57pm to find it closed and vacant. Oh, China. It's the one spot I didn't get to see, but as Mingming pointed out, it gives me an excuse to come back in the future.

Day 2: THE GREAT WALL

Seeing the Great Wall is one of those things where if you visit China and don't do it, you'll end up kicking yourself. Mingming had been several times, however and warned us that we would probably be disappointed because, and I quote, "IT'S JUST A WALL! THERE'S NOTHING THERE!" Disregarding her warnings we suited up in our warmest apparel and took the train an hour North to the "Badaling" section of the wall. 

The Great Wall, like the Forbidden City, is a Ming dynasty site, so the wall as it stands today isn't that old (again, when considering Chinese history. Generally speaking, it's pretty damn old). The Wall's history isn't something the Chinese really brag about. After the Mongols conquered all of China and ruled for over 150 years, they were eventually pushed back into Mongolia, where they split into rival tribes. Ever fearful of the rise of another Genghis Khan, the Chinese began building a series of walls to prevent the Mongols from sweeping down off the step once more. Notice that it was a series of walls, not one long connected one. For much of Chinese history, they were manhandled and humiliated by their northern, horse-riding, pants-wearing neighbors, and this wall didn't really change that. An emperor of the time was convinced to march north to push the Mongols north, his army was defeated, he was taken prisoner, and then returned to the Chinese a year later. The Mongols didn't even care about ransoming him or anything. More related to the wall's history, a tribe of Mongol's successfully laid siege to Beijing for 5 days, just to get the Chinese to agree to trade (the Chinese were very paranoid at this stage in their history). How'd they do it with this "Great" Wall in their way. They went around. Womp. Anyways, enough history, more pictures:

Abby and I decided (read: I decided) to climb to the highest point of this section of the Great Wall. It's a bit of a hike (our destination is circled in red):

The view from about half way there:

Bonus picture of random Chinese guy power posing on the Great Wall:

When imagining the Great Wall I admittedly pictured it as relatively flat. No no no. This thing gets really steep, really fast. At some points it's at least a 45 degree angle if not more. Made me feel for the guys who had to do patrols on it:

Taking a break mid-climb. Abby is a huge Disney fan and not much of an outdoor enthusiast, so, to motivate her to keep going until the top, I repeatedly asked her, "What would Mulan do?" Which caused here to break out in to song (can't win'em all), but also to keep climbing:

Northern China is cold and windy as is, but on elevated slabs of stone with no protection from the wind, it's a whole different level. Here is one couple using the classic "face-to-face" Eskimo warming technique, excellent form:

The Great Wall was pretty great (sorry, had to). It's definitely a worthwhile experience despite the drawbacks. Thoroughly pleased with our climb and chilled to the bone, we headed back for some well deserved heat and rest.

Final Day: Mausoleum of Mao Zedong/Temple of Heaven/Shopping

So in case you weren't aware, Mao Zedong was, is, and for better or worse, will forever be a big deal to the Chinese. Despite his public policy failings (to put it lightly) he did unite China and threw off the yoke of Western Imperialism, allowing China to emerge into the power it is today. Before he died, he is quoted as having said he wanted to be cremated and turned into fertilizer (not as weird as it sounds, he thought wasting perfectly good land to bury the dead was stupid, and that we owe back to nature what we took out). A bit extreme but I see where he's coming from. Unfortunately for him, he was too important. Instead of cremation, he was instead embalmed and put on display in the center of Tiananmen Square, where he resides today. Seriously. Many are convinced it's a wax structure, but some Chinese, including Mingming, swear that it's really him. I went and saw for myself and, my friends, the jury is still out. You have to be dead silent when walking through the room, and you are ushered through relatively quickly, but you get a good view of the man/sculpture from about 10 feet out. I have no idea if it's really him or not, but that's not what I found interesting. What's interesting is that decades after this man's death, after he mishandled a country so poorly that millions starved, people line up around the corner just for a 5 second glimpse. Flowers are laid at his feet daily. That, my friends, is a Cult of Personality. 

Absolutely no pictures allowed inside, but here's his (humble) abode:

Our last stop was the Temple of Heaven, a historic site/park in downtown Beijing. Locals get in free, but others pay a modest fee and then get to see where the emperors went to do their praying and hold ceremonies. Let me tell you, pretty amazing:

Probably just a couple really bored guys with some finger-paint:

Mingming, striking a pose, Abby looks on:

After seeing all there was to see at the Temple of Heaven (namely, the Temple itself and a few outlying buildings) we were cold, tired, and had entirely too much money. Some serious shopping was in order. I knocked out a few of the VIP's on my holiday shopping list, but since they all read this blog (note the correlation between reading my blog and residing on the VIP section of my holiday shopping list...note it), their gifts cannot be named.

The shopping centers we went to had a reputation as being places of intense negotiation, fierce salespeople, and clueless foreigners paying way, way more than they should for fake items. The place did not disappoint. The haggling was tough, but I got some good deals on the [REDACTED] I'm giving my girlfriend, the [REDACTED] I'm giving my grandma, and of course, the [REDACTED] I'm giving my lovely mother. As an example that I can share, Abby bought her mom a knock off designer purse. Original asking price: 3000RMB. Final sale price: 260RMB. Mingming is a master negotiator, I'll leave it at that.

One final anecdote:

Our hostel was very central in Beijing and right next to a long commercial street with many malls. We walked down this street every day to get to the metro and had a few meals there. I saw every day a man selling fried scorpions. I had to try it. How many times do you live, honestly?:

To anyone who knows how picky of an eater I used to be, look how far I've come. The process is cool. You saunter up and boldly state the you want a stick of three scorpions. The Scorpion salesman (there needs to be a specialized word for that occupation) then picks up one of the sticks and runs his hand over the legs of the scorpions, which then scurry. Yup. The scorpions are impaled alive. Then, he fries the scorpions for 3-4 minutes while he chats you up. Finally he slaps on some spicy sauce and garlic powder and hands it over. The final product is much smaller than the picture above, and, I gotta say, pretty damn good. A little crunchy, and the legs get stuck between your teeth, but good. 

All in all Beijing was amazing. It was my last big excursion and I think having that in mind helped me enjoy it that much more. Now, it's time to write two final papers, and prepare for a massive Chinese language final exam. Time to crank up the intensity to unheard of levels, e.g. this young man's gaze/hairstyle:

(insert jokes about how horny he is.....here)